Samus's Lament with Metroid other M spoilers
by Darkon Shadows
Summary: Super Paper Mario controls don't really make up for the self healing Samus bit with infinite missiles.  This is a song fic.


Disclaimer: I don't own Metroid or my own account like Trio, but I wanted to do this so squee let me write this and I chose some awesome music to go with the song fic, the music is by I think is Niko Niko Diaga, okay Primell you can now write this and post it up.

(To the tune "Air Man Will Not Die")

_Here I go all over again, time and time till the end._ (Samus exits a bunch of saves points)

_When I get exposed and explode, vi-o-lent-ly!_ (Timer hits zero and Samus looses all her suits power ups)

_You'd think by now, I'd realize how often he comes back but that guy was just a frequent reoccurring ass-hole._ (Ridley shows up)

_I sure had what would become heroic BSOD and if I knew ahead of time I would have seen the fact._

_That, that the furby would become Ridley I just can't kill him that fucker._ (Samus froze up because she realized for one a cute critter wasn't as friendly as she thought it was, but she'll know better next time)

_I can't kill him, that fucker Ridley must finally die, by missile enema! _(Fires a super missile where the sun didn't shine as Ridley flew by)

_Why can't he just stay permanently dead, how come he has to come back sure this time I had infinite missiles packed._

_You just don't get how emotionally that must impact my life but you're a whiny fan I see._

_So the next time I see him he will get my evil emotionless side which involves killing everything on a whim! _(Throughout the Metroid games Samus kills tons of things out of shear boredom sometimes, hopefully that won't happen to me squee-ree, and I want to be one of those ice immune metroids so I can eat ice cream)

(Music interlude)

_They took away my healing power ups, I have to go back to the save station again, you just don't get how annoying that could be. (_Metroid M you have only one option for being at full health but that really doesn't matter as the game is easy)

_Why couldn't they give me a little health pick me up you see or at least authorized all my suits super awesome power ups? _(Seriously they don't authorize the varia suit until you meet the boss and while you being killed by the heat alone)

_You see this is the reason why I hate Adam this game even if he is my father he's just that lame. _(Primell fact: Samus had parents and Chozo before Adam who is clearly not role model material to Samus)

_I find he is quite very lame, I wish I just said screw this and blew it all up!_

_I shoot them up, all over the enemies just kept coming at me relentlessly._

_While he was safe and sitting at that fucking screen, just watching me dodging off of my ass_

_For the next time I see him he will be six feet under all of that freaking grass. _

_Because I finally felt like kicking his ass and that was after I activated my space jump to say screw you!_

_(Music interlude 2)_

_I should have seen it from a mile away._

_They remade mother brain and that's not okay, I feel hatred rise._

_They screwed it up and now I'm so fucked up._

_So I will kill them all right now._

_My minds totally screwed, so I'll shoot everything that wasn't nailed down to the ground_

_How could they mess up my bad missile shooting ass I'm just an emotional wreck._

_My suit got messed up by a rock, which is more explainable then all of this authorization shit._

_I'll take this fight to the fans who know I'm cool as I am, but now they all just see me as some kind of tool. _

_(Last part, with mild utterance)_

_Samus: I have had enough!_

(End music.)

After going through all the hardships and realizing that the cute and fuzzy creature she helped feed was Ridley that caused her to freeze up horribly now she was back on the Bottle Ship and in the last section which is where Samus looks up to see Phantoon one of Darkon's cousins looking down on her.

"Again, what is it with my foes never dying… I swear my boyfriend Kirby never has these problems on popstar" Samus muttered as the seeker missiles option from the Prime series activated as she remembers how crazy Phantoon got after being hit with a super missile.

After the battle was over Samus still felt like something was missing from all this.

"Warning self destruct activated" The computer said in a bored monotone voice.

"FINALLY! I KNEW SOMETHING WAS MISSING FROM THIS GAME… OH SHIT! NO POWER LOSS, NO POWER LOSS, NO POWER LOSS!" Samus screeched at the top of her lungs as she ran and the countdown timer came up on her hud, she really loves being stuck in death defying situations that kicked her adrenaline to the max, however since everyone she knows except Anthony is dead and she threatened Anthony with death as well if he ever brings up her freezing because of freaking Ridley even once to anyone, she had a reputation to keep after all and if she was known to freeze up one of the least scariest things she's ever seen she'd be the laughing stock of all the other bounty hunters

End.

"Chozo suit reboot, retrieve power up modules again to restore full functionality" Samus just sat there with one of her eyes twitching, why did Chozo technology have to be so finicky about being hit in the upper left shoulder?

"It's okay, it happens to the best of us… Sammy why are you pointing that at me… uh oh…" Primell runs away as Samus gives chase with her spare ice pistol she got from Anthony leveled and firing at Primell's backside as she ran away at shine spark speeds.


End file.
